Nightmares and Promises
by RipperShipper
Summary: "There are so many things you don't know about me." During their engagement, Maria and Georg deal with nightmares.
1. Chapter 1

Nightmares and Promises

A/N: Gah! I haven't written for TSOM in so long and this is the first time I've published for it, but my love for this gorgeous story has resurfaced and I stumbled across the pro-boards and there was a prompt for making a promise and I had to write this. I think it has two more parts, but we shall see. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. None of it.

Chapter 1: Maria

The fireplace crackled and sparked one last time before sputtering out and leaving the once-cozy study in complete darkness. Feeling the chill, Captain von Trapp stirred from sleep and looked around in confusion before smiling softly to himself. He and his bride-to-be had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the fire. Well, he'd fallen asleep on the couch. Maria, who'd been joking only hours earlier about how she was nervous about not being able to sleep next to someone, was resting peacefully half-on top of him. Georg bit back the urge to laugh in fear of waking her and gently stroked her hair. How had he ever gotten this lucky?

His mind filled with images of how they'd ended up in his study in the middle of the night and suddenly he found it hard to go back to sleep.

* * *

 _Five hours earlier…_

" _They are finally asleep!" Maria exclaimed as she fell back against the door Georg's study. He couldn't help but grin. Once, he would've chastised her for not being able to put his children to bed at a reasonable hour, but that was before she'd barreled into his life – their lives. Now he found his fiancé's frustration rather amusing._

" _I think you might be losing your touch, darling." He teased, "Did you want your whistle back?"_

" _Very funny, Captain." She emphasized his title with a roll of her eyes, but there was no love lost in the gesture. "I think I'm beginning to agree with you about eloping." She trudged across the room and into his open arms. "It seems the closer we get to the wedding, the less sleep your children need." _

" _Our children." He reminded her. _

" _Hmmm, no, they're definitely your children when they won't listen to me." She murmured._

" _Hah! Only you could accuse me of having too many rules and too few in the same minute."_

 _Georg expected a witty retort in return, but when he didn't get one, he looked down at Maria and frowned. Since their engagement, they still fought over nothing, but now that bantering usually lead to steamy kisses and passionate caresses until one of them pulled away long enough to run for a cold shower. Tonight though, Maria remained oddly silent with her face buried in his smoking jacket, and if he wasn't mistaken, she was shaking ever so slightly._

" _Love, is everything okay?" He asked tentatively. He felt her nod against his chest, but he knew her well enough now to know that a quiet Maria was a sad Maria. Gently, he cradled her face and brought her up to meet his eyes. Oh, not sad, he realized, scared. Maybe lost? The only time he'd seen a look close to this one was just before he'd proposed and he never wanted to make her feel like that again._

" _Maria, I'm sorry for teasing you. Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me, right?" He urged._

" _You'll think I'm foolish." she whispered._

" _It's not foolish if it's making you upset, love." He gently brushed her cheek with his thumb, hoping she would take it as a sign of trust and respect. They'd talked long into the night before about countless serious topics; their lives, the current political situation, the horrid rumors circulating about their marriage, and not once had Maria ever shied away. Honestly, it worried him to see her so shy now._

 _Maria studied him for a few moments before leading him over to the couch. He noticed she didn't snuggle up against him immediately, but she held his hand close._

" _When I was putting the little ones to bed," she started, "they wouldn't stop asking questions, and it wasn't strange or anything, but they were so excited and asking me things like 'when are we going to have a little sister?', 'when you and father are married, can we still sing during thunderstorms?', 'will you still climb trees with us?' and between that and the older girls being so excited to go shopping with me today and talking non-stop about how exciting it was that I was going to be a Baroness and how I'd have to tell them all about the balls you'd take me to after we were married, I just realized that…"_

" _What?" he asked gently. "It's okay, Maria, I know you've been overwhelmed with planning the wedding and dealing with the staff and the children –"_

" _But that's just it," Maria took a deep breath, "I've been so wrapped up in everything leading up to the wedding and making sure that the children are happy and learning all about taking care of the villa that I never stopped to think about what would happen after we were married."_

" _Oh. Um, I know we've never talked about it, but darling, if you have questions or concerns about our wedding night…" He trailed off, unsure how comfortable she'd be with this kind of discussion. Much to his surprise, she laughed._

" _No, Georg, that's not what I meant." She assured. "I mean, I suppose I am nervous about that as well, but…never mind." Her voice turned somber once more. "I just. I don't know how to be a wife. I mean, I don't know how to, how to be someone's companion, I've never had anyone be so close…there are things you don't know about me."_

" _And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life finding out what they are." He squeezed her hand tighter, but it didn't seem to stop her worry._

" _What if you don't like what you find out?" She asked frantically. "What if I'm impossible to live with?"_

" _That's never going to happen." Georg tried to reassure her, but she wasn't convinced. "Alright. What's one, specific fear that you have?"_

" _What?" She asked._

" _What's one specific thing you're scared of doing after we're married because you think I might not like it?" He pressed. She looked at him blankly. "You seem to be under the impression that I'm going to run as soon as you do something wrong and I'd like to show you that's not true, so tell me. What's scares you?"_

 _Maria felt like there were a million things running around her mind and a million more she felt afraid of, but she said the first thing that popped into her head._

" _I'm afraid of sleeping, I mean actually sleeping, in the same bed as you."_

 _Georg took a moment to process the odd admission; it was certainly not what he'd expected._

" _Please say something." She whispered. He'd been thinking too long._

" _Well, I could assure you that there's nothing to be afraid of and tell you that it takes time to get used to sharing a bed with anyone your first time, but I think…lie down with me." He moved to lie down on the couch and left his arms outstretched for her._

" _Georg?" She questioned._

" _Do you trust me?" His eyes bore into hers with the same intensity as the first time he'd told her he loved her and she knew she'd never refuse him as long as he looked at her that way._

 _Maria moved to lie next to her fiancé and he gathered her into his arms and pressed her against him so her head lay on his shoulder and she could rest her arm against his chest. Almost immediately, her entire body relaxed as she breathed him in. He bit back the smug comment that wanted to tease her and rubbed her back as he hummed softly in her ear. Wanting to forget even more of her stress, Maria angled her head to kiss him, but he stopped her._

" _Just rest, love." He insisted. "You're exhausted. Just breathe."_

 _Maria smiled and gave him a chaste kiss before letting her eyes close and enjoying the sensations of Georg's hands on her body and his voice in the air. He waited until he was sure he'd coaxed her to sleep before giving in to his own tiredness._

* * *

Five hours later…

On their honeymoon, Georg would have to remember tease her about sleeping with him before the wedding, but for now, he was content to listen to her breathing as he held her in his arms. Only a month ago, he was sure he'd never see her again. Now, she was fast asleep in his study and in two weeks, she'd be vowing to be his for the rest of her days. He'd never have to go another day without seeing her smile, hearing her sing, watching her light up the room, feeling her –

"No."

Georg looked around for the muffled protest for a moment before realizing it must've come from Maria.

"Noo, pleeease."

Now worried, he went to rub her arm to wake her up. Her words were slurred; she was definitely having a nightmare. She began to fidget and he moved to hold her tighter so she wouldn't fall off the couch, but that proved to a huge mistake.

The second he grabbed her waist, she lashed out.

"Get off me! Get away from me! Stop it!" She screamed. It was so dark, he couldn't even be sure if she'd woken up.

"Maria, stop! Please, it's just me!" he tried to calm her down, but all she seemed to feel was him trying to hold her to stop her from getting hurt. Something wet hit his face and he realized she was crying as she continued to fight. It stunned him enough to loosen his grip and she went flying out of his arms and onto the floor.

"I hate you!" she cried as she hit the floor. Georg leapt up to turn a light on and his heart broke at the sight of his love sobbing and still fighting invisible demons on the floor. He rushed over to her and against his better judgment, grabbed her hands and pulled her close to him, resolving to hold her until she came to.

"No, no, no! Let me go!"

"Maria, shhh. Shh, it's okay. I'm here, I'm right here."

"Please, please don't kill me!" She begged.

That did it.

"MARIA!" Georg shouted as loud as he could, not caring if anyone discovered them at this hour. She stopped screaming and he felt her half-formed sleepy fists stop batting at his chest.

Maria slowly took in her surroundings and stared helplessly at Georg. Her nightmare came rushing back to her and she threw herself into his arms, crying into his shoulder.

Georg held her as she sobbed. He immediately understood her fears from earlier in the evening. He wasn't sure what triggered her nightmare, but he had enough experience with fear-riddled nights during the war to recognize her dream for what it was. His own nightmares used to terrify Agathe so badly that whenever he came home on leave, she forced him to talk about what happened before bed. It didn't always work, but at least she knew what was going on. It destroyed him to think someone had hurt Maria badly enough to haunt her dreams this strongly. His demons came to him in the form of bloodied men he'd killed, his own men that he'd lost, and sometimes in the form of his late wife dying over and over again as he failed to save her.

"I'm so sorry." Maria cried.

"No, love, you have nothing to be sorry about." He felt his own tears forming at her guilt.

"I didn't want this. I didn't want you to see. I. I'm broken."

"Maria, listen to me." This time he forced her to look at him. "I'm not going anywhere. Do you understand?"

"Why aren't you angry?" she asked.

"If it was me, would you be angry?" he answered.

"No. No, of course not." she replied. She pulled herself as close to him as possible, needing to reassure herself that he was really there.

"Can you tell me what happened?" he asked after a few moments.

"I don't know." She admitted. "I don't know if I'm ready."

He smiled.

"That's okay, but can I ask you something?"

"Yes, of course."

"These nightmares, when they happen, if they happen before the wedding, will you promise to come to me?" He knew it was a risky question, but he wanted her to truly know that he would always be there for her.

Maria seemed to think about it for a while, but eventually, she pulled back to look at him and answer.

"I promise." she whispered. "I love you, Georg."

"I love you too." he kissed her and let his passion show just how much he meant it. He gently licked at her lips to deepen the kiss, but she pulled back.

"Georg, I do want to tell you. Not right now, but I promise I will. I trust you. You….you stayed."

In the years to come, Georg would remember those words more than her wedding vows.

"I will always stay, Maria." He promised.

"As much as I love kissing you," she blushed, "I'm exhausted. Would you mind?"

"No, of course not," he moved to stand up, "let me walk you to your room, you'll be more comfortable." She grabbed his hand as he went to stand up.

"I'm comfortable here."

Georg beamed as he turned out the light and the two made their way back to the couch.

* * *

I have a really soft spot for comfort stories with these two. 3 Hope you liked it!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still not mine. :(

A/N: Thank you so much for the unbelievably kind reviews! I love this couple so dearly and I want to do them loving justice. I hope you enjoy this next installment! There will be one more after this. This chapter is a STRONG T for language and content, but I don't think it crosses into M territory. Let me know if I should change the rating. :)

* * *

Chapter 2: The Night Before the Wedding

Maria Rainer lay on top of the decadent comforter of her governess' bed, listening to the peaceful sounds of the crickets outside her open window. Her charges had gone to bed hours ago, and even her fiancé was likely deeply asleep by now. She tried to resist the urge to glance at the clock again, but she was a curious creature and she couldn't help it.

4:10am.

She'd been staring at the ceiling now for nearly five hours: five anxious, excited, exhilarating, terrifying hours. Tomorrow, she would leave her previous life forever. She wouldn't be Maria Rainer anymore; she would be Maria von Trapp, _Baroness_ Maria von Trapp, at that. Boy, was that enough to chase sleep far from her mind all over again.

It was quite miraculous, in a way, she thought. How was it possible that in less than 24 hours, she'd be a completely different person? Less than a day until she left behind a life of poverty, of chastity, and of never feeling like she belonged anywhere. It felt like a clean slate. Tomorrow, she could start over with a new life and a family that loved her. Tomorrow, she would be a von Trapp. Tomorrow….

Tomorrow, she could forget that her last name was Rainer.

' _No,'_ she thought to herself, _'I can't forget.'_ What was it Georg had told her during one of their late-night talks? That he didn't mind that she came from nothing because it made her the woman he fell in love with? Maybe she didn't have to forget in order to move on?

"But I want to." She whispered to the darkness of her room.

She knew she should try to grab at least a few hours of sleep before the chaos of her elaborate wedding day, but instead she found her feet walking her across the room and out the door.

" _This is ridiculous,"_ she thought, _"I'm going to see him in a few hours and then we're going to be alone for six weeks, this can wait."_ Apparently it couldn't, wait, though, as Maria quickly found herself standing hesitantly outside her future bedroom.

" _He is asleep. Like you should be. Go back to your room, you don't belong here yet."_ And…now she was knocking softly at Georg's door. She'd say she was delirious from lack of sleep and thought the children needed her? Yes. That was a perfectly fine excuse. Minus the part about how she ended up at his door instead of theirs, but that was a minor detail, yes?

"Maria?" Georg questioned as he opened the door. "What are you doing up? Is everything okay?"

Maria simply stared at her almost husband. He would be her husband tomorrow. Oh, this was a terrible idea.

"Did you want to come in?" Georg asked with a smirk. Maria didn't appear in any immediate distress, so she must just be unable to sleep. The feeling was certainly mutual.

"Um, uh." Maria stuttered. "Yes, um, okay."

Georg chuckled and held the door open for her. As she floated into the room, Maria realized she'd never seen the master bedroom before. It was nothing like she expected. Sometime in her early fantasies about her Captain after their engagement, she'd started imagining his bedroom would look much like his study; navy trinkets everywhere, dark walls, everything in oddly-organized chaos. She wasn't sure what to make of the room before her now with its plain, beige walls absolute order. Were it not for sheer size of the room and the obvious luxury of the linens, it could've easily passed as a room at the abbey, it had so little personality. How did he live like this? Her passionate, opinionated fiancé certainly didn't live here, did he?

"I was going to have it redecorated while we were away." Georg commented as if he could read her thoughts.

"Has it always looked like this?" Maria asked in disbelief. A small shadow flickered across Georg's eyes.

"No, um. I guess I couldn't bear sleeping in here after Agathe…I had everything taken up to the attic, replaced all the furniture, and had the walls repainted. Even then, I almost I couldn't stomach it."

Maria turned to embrace him.

"I'm so sorry, love." She whispered.

"It's alright," he replied smiling, "after tomorrow, it will be filled with new memories." He pulled away slightly from Maria's arms to gaze around the room. "Tomorrow, this room will start anew. Just like us." He added as he turned his gaze back to the beautiful woman in front of him.

The beautiful woman who was now avoiding his eyes.

"Love, are you sure everything's alright? You're not having second thoughts, are you?" He asked, his question laced with a somewhat serious fear.

"What?" She gasped. "No, of course not. Georg, I love you."

He pulled her close and they stood in close silence in each other's embrace. He knew he shouldn't doubt her, but he couldn't help the insecurities that came up every now and again: their age difference, her former occupation, and his worry she might ever feel like a replacement.

"I love you too." He whispered sincerely. "I'm sorry, I should know better than to question you."

Maria held him tighter and laughed into his chest before looking him straight in the eye.

"Since when have you ever NOT questioned me?" She quipped.

He smiled. There was his fiancé.

"Actually, I came because I couldn't sleep." She admitted.

"Bad dreams?" He asked with great concern.

"No, no, nothing like that." She quickly reassured. "Well, I mean, I wasn't exactly dreaming them." He gave her a confused look at that. "I suppose it just hit me that we're getting married tomorrow and I know we'll have six weeks alone to ask each other everything, but I just felt like I had to tell you, you know, about, well, what happens in the nightmares."

"Oh." Georg immediately hated himself for his weak response, "I mean, of course. You can tell me anything."

"Can we sit down?" She asked quietly.

Georg gave her sweet kiss and started to lead her over to his bed, but then thought better of it and steered them towards his couch instead. She was here for a serious talk, there was no need to tempt himself more than the circumstances already were. Not that he would ever tell her that.

It was a few moments before he realized he was still stuck in his thoughts and she hadn't started talking.

"Darling?"

"Okay, maybe this wasn't a good idea." Maria blurted out.

"You know I'm not going to force you tell me anything, right? I'm more than happy if you just want to sit here with me." He took her hands and gently glided his thumb back and forth against her surreally soft skin.

Maria let herself be lost for a moment in the feel of his course fingers against her hand and briefly wondered where the might feel other places. When she looked up from their joined hands, she couldn't help but notice the glaze of lust that covered Georg's eyes. It would be so easy to just not tell him, to fall head first into the depths of his stare and never come out again. Her lips were on his before she realized she was moving. Georg moaned into her mouth and for the first time nearly cursed how terrible of a chaperone Max turned out to be. They'd made it over a month, was she really about to let this happen mere hours before their wedding? He felt her tongue begging to deepen the kiss and suddenly it didn't matter anymore. He lost control of his hands as they escaped his clutches and eagerly slid down her arms and around her waist to pull her flush against him on the couch. He made love to her mouth, drowning in her responsiveness, and reveling in the freedom of touching her in his own room. He reached down and his fingers gently dug into her backside prompting a soft sound to escape his lover's lips.

The sound of her pleasure sent him even more over the edge, but apparently it had the opposite affect on her and she was promptly unhooking herself from him and darting to the other side of the couch.

"No, no, no, I have to do this!" She seemed to yell more at herself than at him.

"Um," Georg tried to be as supportive as he could as fought to come back from his sensual haze.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"No, it's okay," he promised, "I should've stopped it earlier."

"I do want, uh, to." she sputtered. "Just so you know."

He smiled. Oh, he knew. He'd known for weeks, but that definitely proved it. That didn't matter now, though. He needed to focus. They were both exhausted and vulnerable and hardly making sense, but Maria was never going to even get a nap, it seemed, unless she talked to him.

"I know, love." He smirked. "But I think I can wait until tomorrow night."

"I don't know why this is so hard…"

"Just start at the beginning." He urged.

Maria took a deep breath and hoped against hope that she was doing the right thing.

* * *

 _Tyrol: ten years ago…_

 _When the school bell rang, most of the students ran for the door, but one 14-year-old girl staggered behind, moving slowly to collect her belongings. By now, her teacher didn't question her daily routine. She was always the last to leave the classroom. The more time she spent slowly placing her things inside her battered rucksack, the less time she'd have to spend at 'home'. Home…she hated that word._

 _Sighing, as she couldn't find any more reasons to dawdle, Maria made her way to the door and started her reluctant walk out of the school._

" _Maria!"_

 _She didn't really have any friends, so the sound of her name usually meant trouble. What did she do this time? When she turned around, she was more than surprised to see her classmate, Werner, running to catch up with her. What on earth did he want? They never really talked. They'd been partnered for the last class project, but that was the only time they'd ever spoken as far as she could remember. Not that she'd been paying much attention to her social life._

" _Werner? What is it?" She asked cautiously._

 _If he noticed her hostile demeanor, he didn't say anything._

" _Well, um, I was wondering if, well, uh, could I walk you home?"_

 _It took all of her will power not to stand there staring with her mouth open. Werner Heilig wanted to walk her home. Sure, he wasn't the most popular boy in school, but he wasn't a social outcast like her, either. Was this a joke? Were his friends watching to see when he humiliated her? He couldn't possibly be asking because he actually liked her, could he?_

" _I'll take that as a no, then." He sighed and started to walk away._

" _Werner, wait!" She cried, surprising herself. He turned around hopefully. "I was just surprised, that's all. Um, you, yes, I would like that."_

 _Graceful, Maria. Truly graceful._

 _Nevertheless, Werner beamed at the invitation and offered to take her bag as they headed out of town together._

 _In all her life, Maria couldn't remember a lovelier afternoon. Over the three miles it took to reach her small house, she found herself talking more than she had ever since her parents died. Werner was so genuinely kind to her and listened to everything she had to say, even if it was just some silly enthusiasm about a dress in shop window as they walked by. He even complimented her! He thought she was funny and smart. No one had ever thought she was anything except a nuisance. She was nearly ready to declare it a wonderful day when she saw her uncle's house approaching._

 _In spending time with her new friend (did she really have a friend?), she'd nearly forgotten that he was walking her back to the place she never wanted to go back to. Oh God, her uncle. He might be home! She couldn't let Werner meet him; he might never speak to her again._

" _Um, that's my house, just there." She poorly tried to think of an excuse to send Werner away. "I'll be fine from here."_

" _Oh," Werner replied, sensing her sudden mood change, "well, did you want to, um, keep talking? We could do tomorrow's assignment?"_

 _Maria tried to think of any nice way to tell him to run the hell away before they were spotted, but before she could, she noticed her uncle had come out of the house and was staring daggers at the two of them._

" _I can do the assignment, myself, thanks!" She yelled a little to harshly for her liking before she turned and ran up to the house trying not to cry. There was no way Werner would talk to her again after she'd been so rude. What else was she to do, though?_

 _She slowed her pace as she neared her uncle, reluctant to get within grabbing distance._

" _Get inside." He grumbled. She quickly tried to run by him, but she wasn't fast enough and she felt the smack on her backside sting as she passed into the house._

 _As per her usual routine, she tossed her rucksack into the corner and ran into the kitchen to prepare dinner as fast as she could. Normally, her uncle left her alone while she was cooking unless it was to bark at her to hurry it up, but today she cringed as she felt his eyes following her around the house._

" _So," he sneered, "you made a little friend today."_

 _She didn't dare answer. She simply prayed he'd take her silence as obedience and leave._

" _Is that why you were late, you lazy little brat?"_

" _I'm sorry, uncle." She whimpered._

" _What was that?" he shouted._

" _I'm sorry!" His yelling startled her and she cut herself on the knife she was using to rapidly chop potatoes._

" _Now look what you've done!" He hollered. "Clumsy girl can't even cook me a decent meal."_

 _She moved to grab a bandage, but her uncle grabbed her roughly by the arm as she tried to leave the kitchen._

" _Where the hell do you think you're going, bitch?"_

 _Held close to him, Maria could smell the liquor on his breath and she winced. It was always worse when he was drunk._

" _Please, no." She whispered. "I just want to grab a bandage so I don't ruin dinner. I'll have it ready so soon."_

" _Shut up!" He yelled. The smack across the face hit her harder than usual and sent her flying back into the cabinets. "'I'll have it ready so soon.'" He mocked. "You can't do anything right!" He punctuated his accusation with a rough shove and her head hit the cabinet behind her. She grabbed at her head in pain and bent over and her uncle took the opportunity to slam his knee up into her stomach. She fell to the floor._

" _Please, stop it! No!" She screamed, but she knew it wouldn't do anything. There was no one for miles. No one cared. She cried out as her uncle's boot came down on her back, pinning her to the floor._

" _Maybe you're getting bored here, huh?" He snarled. "Need some more excitement? That's why you brought that boy here, isn't it? You little whore!"_

" _Let me go!" She pulled and clawed at the floor, but he jumped down on her so his entire body pushed hers into the ground._

" _Did you tell him?" he asked without a hint of remorse. "DID YOU TELL HIM?"_

" _No! I swear!" Tears were flowing down her face by now, but she couldn't hold them back anymore. "No one knows, I hide the bruises every morning!"_

" _I don't believe you." He snapped. Maria screamed as he sat up and violently turned her over so he was straddling her. "I should've done this when my god damned sister left you to me. You should've died with her!" He shouted as he grabbed the knife off the floor that Maria had dropped earlier._

" _PLEASE DON'T! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" She screamed for anyone that might hear her. She screamed for god, for her parents, anyone who might save her. Time seemed to slow as he raised the knife above his head and she didn't think. She lunged up towards the knife and wrapped her hands around his wrist. He was so shocked that she'd dared to fight back that his grip loosened and she wrenched the knife to the floor. He knocked her back and his hands seized her around her throat._

 _This was it. She was going to die here and no one would ever know. No one would ever care._

 _No. Someone knew where she lived now. Werner knew where she lived. Even if he hated her, he knew she existed. She couldn't just disappear._

 _Maria mustered all her strength and felt around for the knife. As her vision went blurry, she felt her fingers grasp the handle. She threw her arm as hard as she could towards her uncle. His scream was the last thing she heard before it all went black._

* * *

Aigen: Present Day…

The sun was peeking over the horizon and the air was warm and peaceful, but it didn't reflect the mood of the inhabitants of the master bedroom at all.

Georg von Trapp sat shocked on his couch while his almost-wife sobbed violently in his lap.

He didn't know what was worse: what happened to Maria or that she would never know what happened after she passed out. The nightmares always ended with her stabbing her uncle, but she'd woken up in the hospital days later and out of fear, she told the nurses she didn't remember anything. She assumed they didn't say anything about her uncle because they didn't want to upset her if she didn't remember and years later when she finally returned to the house in desperate need of closure, she couldn't find any answers. The house had been cleaned out, but there was no grave marker. If he was dead, he would've been buried and if he were alive, he would still own the house, so what happened? She would never know. That probably fueled her nightmares more than anything. Not knowing.

He so desperately wanted to say something to comfort the woman in his arms, but what could he say? Sorry? It's going to be okay? He knew from experience that none of those things were true. It would never be okay. It wasn't going to go away. But she could learn to live with it.

"Maria." He spoke as gently as he could while still trying to be heard over her sobs. "My love, it's our wedding day."

Maria didn't sit up, but her cries softened and her body seemed to relax at the realization that he was still holding her.

"The sun's coming up." He continued. "It looks beautiful this morning."

"You're here." She whispered.

Georg pulled her up so she could sit across his lap and rest her head on his shoulder. He held her as close as he could.

"So are you." He caressed her back.

Maria finally wiped her eyes and brought her face to his. With their noses barely touching, she gazed deeply into her Captain's eyes. Whatever she was looking for, the fear, the judgment, the hate, she didn't find it. All she saw beaming back at her was love and a deep understanding of sorrow.

"I love you." She followed her declaration with a soft, lingering kiss. He met her just as passionately and he didn't realize it was possible to be this in love with another human being.

"Thank you." He said gratefully as the kiss broke. "I promise you, I will never let anything happen to you, my love. You will always be safe with me."

And despite her fears, she knew he was telling the truth. For the first time in her life, she didn't need a thousand reassurances, she just knew.

" _This is what it feels like to be loved."_ She thought smiling to herself.

She felt herself being lifted off the ground and realized Georg was carrying her to his, their, bed. The feel of the plush mattress under her was a greater relief than she'd expected and as her fiancé set an alarm to wake them up by seven, she snuggled up against his chest.

It was going to be a wonderful day.

* * *

So I wrote this while listening to a sad instrumental playlist and now I'm like OOF. I hope you enjoyed! Thank you again for your kind reviews!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Disclaimer: If anything, they own me. My heart is theirs.

A/N: Totally stole Captain Rafer's name from Hawaii, but it fit the character, so I'm keeping it. Also, the military information is based off the real U-boat records of Georg von Trapp. The Marionga-Goulandris was the first ship he sunk as captain of the SM U-14 where none of the crew survived. In fact, of the 21 vessels he sunk as a Captain the crew survived nearly all of them! The more you know! Other than that, though, I'm making everything up as I go based on a general knowledge of ships and an active imagination. Enjoy and thank you so much for your super kind support!

* * *

Paris, France

"Wow." Maria sighed blissfully.

Georg chuckled and pressed his lips lovingly against her forehead before reluctantly rolling off his still-boneless wife. He propped himself up and leaned his head against his hand as he continued to stare, amazed and highly amused, at Maria.

"I take it that lived up to your expectations, Fraulein." He teased. "I must admit, I don't think I've ever seen you speechless before."

"Not speechless," she breathed quietly, "just…I don't know….okay maybe speechless."

Georg laughed as she tried to recover herself. His earlier worry that she might've been scared by his rakish side quickly dissipated as her smiled continued to beam and her eyes fluttered closed in contentment. At three weeks into their honeymoon, the sight of his naked, sated wife wasn't exactly new to Georg von Trapp, but he was sure it would never get old.

It was hard to believe, though, that the wanton woman beside him was the same blushing bride he'd taken to bed for the first time nearly a month ago. On their wedding night, though she'd had no regrets and was more than eager to snuggle up with him afterwards, Maria had modestly pulled the sheets up over them almost immediately. Now, with her naked body fully on display, she lay flat on her back without a care in the world.

"You know, I'm really glad the rumors turned out to be true."

Maria's soft voice broken through his thought's and he drew his eyes up from other parts of her body to meet her amused gaze.

"Why, Maria von Trapp, you are positively sinful." He gasped in mock-outrage.

She giggled and finally found the strength to roll over onto her side so she could face him. Her fingers wandered across his chest, aimlessly tracing patterns through the soft hair she'd come to love so much.

"I think you're the sinful one, Captain. After all, what did your friend call you? The 'Casanova extraordinaire of the Great War'?" Despite their activities of the last hour, Maria couldn't help but laugh at the title.

"Oh you think that's funny, now? Do you?" He asked incredulously. His voice lowered and he moved devilishly close to her lips. "You weren't laughing a few minutes ago."

Maria's exhaustion left her as his voice sent shivers down her spine. It was almost unfair that he had this much power over her. She moved to kiss the smirk off his face, but he rolled away from her and continued their conversation as if they were still sitting in that damned café.

' _Insufferable man.'_ Maria thought to herself.

"Besides, I hate to disappoint you, but he did exaggerate a great deal, darling. I promise you, I didn't become one of Austria's finest naval heroes by seducing every woman along the coast." Georg's tone remained joking, but Maria could tell he really did want her to understand that his passionate nature was not the result of millions of scandalous liaisons.

"I never thought you did, love." She reassured. "And I wasn't scandalized by it, you know?"

"By what we just did?" He chuckled, "Oh, I _know_ you weren't, my insatiable-."

"No, you arrogant sailor," she chided. Georg stuck his tongue out at her in playful response. "I mean I wasn't bothered by anything that Captain Rafer said at dinner tonight."

"You're sure?" he asked. It didn't seem like she was offended at the time, but he wasn't always proud of his past and he wanted to be sure she was comfortable.

"Yes, Georg, I promise. Besides, if I wasn't okay with it, I wouldn't have dragged you back to the hotel." He seemed to need more than that, so she smiled and continued. "I'm not naïve enough to believe you were a saint in the navy and I don't care. Weren't you the one who told me you didn't mind what happened in my past because it made me the person you loved?"

"Well, that's different…" He reasoned.

"It doesn't have to be." Maria cut him off. "I made the choices I made to survive and so did you. I will never judge you for that."

" _That's because you don't know everything that happened outside of the bedroom during the war…"_ He thought solemnly.

"Georg?" Maria asked softly.

"Sorry, just thinking." He quickly assured.

"Okay. You know you can tell me, right?" She parroted his own words back to him that he'd asked her a million times.

"I know." He sighed. "It's late. Can we talk about it in the morning?"

"Of course." She answered somewhat uncertainly.

Knowing more was on her husband's mind than whatever trysts he'd gotten up to in his early years, Maria got up to brush her teeth and give him space. By the time she returned, he was already fast asleep, so she simply shook her head at him and curled up at his side. He would tell her when he was ready.

* * *

 _The Mediterranean Sea, July 1917_

 _Try as he might, Captain von Trapp couldn't make his cramped quarters feel any less suffocating. Even stripped down to his undergarments, he was drenched in sweat and every time he moved, he could feel the air curl against his skin. A glance at the ceiling frustrated him even further. His daily tally marks now showed two months and two days since their last sinking. His fourth month as captain of this god-forsaken tin can and he only had two cargo sinkings to show for it. He knew his superiors wanted more, but at the moment, the SM-U-14 was in dire need of repairs and until they let him dock and fix it, he wasn't sure what more he could give them._

 _A knock on the door interrupted his precious break time._

" _Captain, sir. You're needed at the helm."_

 _Of course he was._

" _Just a minute." He barked through the door._

" _Sir, we've picked up the Marionga!"_

 _Georg jumped out of bed and into his uniform as fast as he could. The humidity didn't even faze him. They finally had a mark._

 _He sprinted to the helm, eager to get a look at the radar screen. His men quickly moved out of the way to let their commander through the tight space. They were just as eager for action._

 _Sure enough, a blinking dot on the radar screen showed them within range of their target. They'd been tracking the Marionga for weeks, but the Greek cargo vessel had evaded their faulty equipment until now._

" _What's our intel, Hans?" Georg asked excitedly._

" _Standard cargo, sir. 40 men on board. They're headed to the far Italian coast." Hans replied efficiently._

" _Alright, you know the drill. Prep the torpedoes, lock the target, and be ready on my command." Georg instructed._

 _A surge of pride rushed through him at the resounding sound of "Yes, Captain, sir!" reverberating through the room._

 _This was it. They'd sink this target, he'd report back, they'd get clearance to fix the submarine, and everything would be okay._

" _Hold position!" Georg shouted._

 _Silence filled the cabin while he waited for the perfect moment._

" _Fire!" He commanded._

 _The vessel lurched with the blowback pressure of the torpedo launch and the soldiers grabbed whatever they could to keep from slamming into the floor. Georg braced himself against mainframe and watched obsessively as the torpedoes sped towards the unsuspecting cargo ship._

" _5…4…3…" He counted to himself._

 _A second wave of tremendous pressure shook the U-14 violently and sent Georg toppling._

" _Oh no…" He whispered. It was too early. Two seconds too early and the shock from the explosion shouldn't have been that harsh. They were too close. "Damned useless system!"_

 _One of the younger cadets ran into the room from monitoring the boiler._

" _Captain, we're hit!"_

" _Fritz, seal off the engine room!" He hollered. "Hans, Johannes, we need to surface now!"_

" _We don't know what happened to the ally ship, sir!" Johannes protested._

" _Better than what'll happen to us if we don't surface, now go!" Georg shouted._

 _The men ran to do as they were told and the rest of the crew stood in their positions. They were going to live. Georg promised them he would get them home to their families and he was going to do it come hell or high water._

 _He breathed a tense sigh when the engine room was sealed. At least they weren't taking on water. The U-14 began to rise and for once, Georg was grateful that submarine technology still didn't allow them to dive below the point of no return. The U-14 popped unceremoniously out of the water and while the crew acclimated to the drastic change in pressure and armed themselves, Georg threw open the airlock._

 _Suddenly, he almost wished he'd drowned at the bottom of the ocean._

 _Despite his experience, he'd never seen the aftermath of the newer torpedo cannons. They always fired and then rerouted to a safe location underwater. They never saw what became of the cargo ships, only that their signals disappeared off the radar sensor._

 _The site in front of him froze his soul and set his skin ablaze. Towers of smoke poisoned the air relentlessly as the Marionga was consumed in flames. Her engine clearly exploded and the crew was screaming, running wild trying to escape. Georg felt something inside him break as he watched; heard the dying cries of grown men who knew they weren't going to make it. A few, their bodies burning, ran to jump off the side, but most were impaled on the jagged edges of the ruined ship before they hit water._

 _He had done this. This was what war really looked like. It wasn't uncomfortable quarters and award ceremonies for faceless explosions. War was evil incarnate. He sentenced these men to horrid, torturous deaths. He was a monster, and the worst part, he realized, was that he'd do it all again to save his men's lives, to go back to his own family…like these men never would._

" _Oh God, I'm so sorry."_

* * *

Paris, France, Present Day

"Ow!"

Maria awoke in the middle of the night to a searing pain in her side. Instinctively moving her hands to the spot, she was surprised to discover that the source wasn't her own body, it was her husband's previously-tender hand that was now digging ferociously into her skin.

"Georg." She whispered harshly. "Georg, wake up, you're hurting me."

When he didn't budge, she tried to pry his hand off her, but even in sleep, he was impressively strong. In her wiggling, she noticed an odd, wet sensation on her neck and realized he must've been crying.

"Georg, please wake up!" She shouted.

"No!" He yelled as he was jolted awake.

For a moment, he didn't know where he was. He was so sure he was back on that ship, and this wasn't his room at the villa either. The feel of soft skin gently brushing against his face let him know he wasn't alone.

"Darling, are you okay?" Maria asked worriedly. "Georg?"

The present slowly caught up to him and he finally relaxed at the realization that he was safe. The war was long behind him and he was in bed with his wife on his honeymoon in Paris. No fire or blood for miles.

He silently opened his arms, pleading, and Maria curled herself closely against him. He held her as tightly as he could, needing to reassure himself that she was there. Maria tried to hide the wince when he wrapped an arm around her waist, but he saw it.

"Are you okay?" He asked confused.

"I'm fine," she covered up, "it's nothing."

"You're a terrible liar." He murmured as he reached over to turn on the light. He gasped at the sight of the large bruise forming above her hip.

"Oh God, did I do that?" He asked already knowing the answer. Maria thought of denying it, but she knew he knew and she reluctantly nodded. "I'm sorry, love. I'm so so sorry!"

"It's okay, you didn't know you were doing it." She tried to comfort him. She was mildly surprised to find him overwhelmed with disappointment and defeat.

"I thought I'd learned to control it." He admitted.

"What on earth are you talking about?" She asked.

"It used to happen with Agathe!" He spat. Maria recoiled slightly, not expecting the outburst, but she knew it wasn't directed at her. He was just impossibly frustrated with himself.

"You know it's technically tomorrow." Maria urged. "You could tell me what was on your mind earlier."

"I can't believe I hurt you," he mumbled, "after everything-"

"Georg Johannes von Trapp." Maria stopped him cold. "Stop it. You've never meant me any harm, I'm not afraid of you, and you just said yourself that this happened with Agathe. So, why don't you talk to me instead of pretending I can't handle whatever it is when you know that's not true."

He had to hand it to her; she was blunt if nothing else.

"You've never held any ill will against me for my nightmares, let me help you with yours." She pleaded softly.

"I haven't dreamt about the war in years." He began.

"Seeing Captain Rafer?" She guessed.

"I suppose, though, he wasn't there that day…" He trailed off.

"What happened?" She asked. She could feel the moment he relented and sunk back into the pillows.

"It was when I'd first become a Captain. We'd been tracking ally cargo ships for months trying to retaliate against them for the blockade. I honestly never thought about what we were doing much. It was my job to sink the supplies and keep my crew alive. Anything beyond that was overwhelming."

Maria nodded, waiting for him to continue. She held his hand lovingly and urged him on with a gentle caress of her thumb.

"About three months in, our equipment started malfunctioning. We knew it was dangerous to be out there, but resources were low and we didn't have a choice. When we attacked our third cargo ship, our calculations were off and we ended up far too close to the blast. We survived, but we surfaced in time to see what we'd done to the other ship and those men…what we did to them – what I did to them. It was monstrous. They were burning, and bleeding, and screaming, and I didn't do anything."

"You were at war." Maria assured. "There was nothing you could've done."

"You don't understand," he argued, "I've killed hundreds of men, Maria. Possibly thousands. When I think about what I've done… I feel so lost. Agathe used to say she thought the, um, gripping, was me trying to hold on to something. I really thought you wouldn't have to know…"

Maria guided his face towards hers and into a comforting kiss.

"Remember when I told you that there were things you might not like about me and you said you couldn't wait to find out what they were?" She asked. "The same goes for you, love. War is a part of your past, I don't think it will ever go away, but you don't have to hide it from me. You want to know something funny? You asked me a while ago why I thought you didn't look like a sea captain and I think I know now."

Georg found himself amused despite his body still shaking off the remnants of horrifying sleep.

"Oh, and what was it?" He asked.

"When I was little, I always thought of military men as, well, kind of like my uncle – all barking orders with no compassion behind their eyes. When I met you, despite your best efforts, you couldn't hide your passion."

"I think the you of several months ago would have a lot to say to that…" He argued.

"Your passion might not have been in the right place, but it was there, _Captain_." She quipped. "And believe it or not, you smiled when Gretl forgot her name. You could've yelled, but you didn't; you smiled at me…maybe smirked is the better word, but you know what I mean. You're far from the heartless creature of your nightmares, my love."

"I can't tell you what that means, Maria." He admitted.

"Well, we're awake now, why don't you show me?" She teased.

Not a single nightmare haunted either of them for the rest of their honeymoon.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this trip through Maria and Georg's minds! I have another story brewing, but I think I'm going to write the whole thing before publishing any of it, so it may be awhile. Thank you so much for your wonderful support!


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